I don’t want Chip to meet Eric.

I put on my clothes and makeup in a rush, hoping to slip out of the apartment before Chip gets home. Unfortunately he’s early. My stomach clenches as I hear him come through the door. He drops his backpack in a careless heap and strides down the hall. There’s nothing I can do to avoid him, so I continue to apply my mascara with a trembling hand.

He pauses outside the bathroom. I don’t look over because I’m concentrating on my eyelashes. Despite my lack of greeting, or perhaps because of it, he enters the tight space and puts his hands on my hips.

“Hey, babe,” he says, kissing my cheek. “Where you going?”

“To Noah’s.”

He grunts in disinterest. He’s only been to my brother’s house once. They didn’t hit it off.

I set aside my mascara and fix the smudge he made. Instead of wandering away to play videogames or watch sports, Chip frowns at my reflection in the mirror.

“Why are you all dressed up?”

I’m not wearing anything fancy, just a basic skirt and top. But I took pains with my hair and makeup and it shows. I want to remind Eric what he turned down, rub it in his face a little. Chip notices the extra effort. He’s got an eagle eye and a suspicious nature.

I think about lying just to avoid conflict. I’ve been doing that more and more these days. After a short pause, I push aside the urge and move his hands off my hips. “It’s a special occasion. One of April’s relatives just got out of prison.”

“Who’s April?”

“Noah’s wife.”

I know that Chip remembers her. He always takes note of pretty women. “I’m going with you.”

This is exactly what I was afraid of, but I don’t argue. I have to pick my battles with Chip. He can be hot-tempered, depending on his mood and the amount of alcohol he’s consumed. I tell myself it’s not his fault. He’s a dedicated athlete, big man on campus, born to a wealthy family. Guys like him expect their girlfriends to fall in line.

And I had. I did.

Chip follows me into the bedroom, where I choose a pair of ballet flats. He grabs a pair of metallic gold high heels instead. “Wear these.”

Saying nothing, I don the flashy shoes. He likes me to look a certain way when we’re together. I think he enjoys having a leggy blonde on his arm. Before we leave, I glance at our reflections in the mirror. He’s tall and handsome, with wavy brown hair. His jeans and polo shirt are sporty and expensive. We make an attractive couple, but there’s something missing between us.

We used to have fun together. When we first met, he was hard to resist. He followed me to my car after class one day, begging for a date. He was bold and brash and full of confidence. I felt flattered. He put a lot of effort into chasing me, and I liked the attention. I liked his persistence. Of all the girls on campus, he chose me.

Our relationship hit the skids as soon as I moved in with him. Then he stopped pursuing me and started trying to control me. It’s almost as if he considers me his property now that I live in his apartment. He seems to want a maid, a cook, and blowjobs on demand. I wouldn’t mind taking care of his needs if he returned the favor.

Maybe I’m expecting too much from him. He is what he is, an MLB-bound superstar athlete who bats .390 and fields like a dream. He’s got money to burn and family connections. I understood what I was getting into when I agreed to go out with him. There are dozens of girls who’d kill to be in my glittering sandals right now.

The problem isn’t Chip. It’s me. I haven’t told him that I’m not happy. I’ve stayed quiet instead of challenging him. We have a superficial relationship, and I’m reluctant to take it deeper. After what happened with Eric, I’m not up for another heartbreak.

I can’t bear to compare the two of them, either. That’s why I don’t want them in the same room together. There’s no contest between my live-in boyfriend and the love of my life.

Stupid.

After all this time, I still have feelings for Eric. I’m worried that seeing him again will bring up bad memories—or good ones. My desire for him might come rushing back. Or maybe the opposite will happen, and I’ll wonder why I ever gave him the power to hurt me.

Then I’ll be free.

Michel’s Review

Jill Sorensen has just released Against The Wall, a compelling new adult romance.  Against The Wall is a unique love story about redemption, growth,and compassion.  It touches upon physical abuse, gang brutality, incarceration in prison, and restructuring a new life after all the cards have been played.  Eric and Meghan have walked through fire and found  each other once again.

Eric and Meghan were teenage sweethearts just beginning their adult lives.  They were from completely backgrounds and have experienced different kinds of lives.  Eric has been brought up in the streets where gangs rule his world.  Meghan comes from a sheltered religious background that smothered her.  When they found each other, they found solace for their troubled souls.  But young love is not enough to keep their lives off destructive paths.  Eric is involved in a gang war which results with him being sent to prison for manslaughter.  He willingly lets go of Meghan so that she can move on to a better life.

Meghan is devastated by Eric’s rejection.  When she finally accepts it and moves on, she moves onto an even more destructive relationship.  She is enduring physical and verbal abuse.  She’s hiding the abuse from her family and friends.  She knows she deserves better and that she should be stronger but she just can’t pull herself away the abuse… until Eric is released from prison.  Her conflicting feelings towards Eric open her eyes.

Life has changed for both of them in the past three years.  Eric has learned that he doesn’t need the gang life to be a man.  He wants to build a new life where he can earn respect by working hard.  He wants to build a career as an artist.  He wants to be the kind of man that Meghan deserved.

This book starts the day Eric is released from prison.  The reader will follow his journey as he re-enters society.  In many ways the world has changed and in other ways it is the same vicious cycle he once was caught up in.  It will be up to him to make the right choices and stay on an even path.  The only thing that remains the same is his deep love for Meghan.

Meghan also has to face life in a different way.  She has to gain her self respect and get out of a destructive relationship.  It shouldn’t matter if Eric wants her or not, she needs to learn to love herself once again.

Against The Wall was very emotional on many levels.  Jill Sorensen built a vivid, accurate picture of Eric and Meghan’s lives.  She didn’t sugarcoat the harshness of their lives.  She didn’t allow their love to fix their problems.  She made Eric and Meghan work for what matters most in life.

I would highly recommend Against The Wall by Jill Sorenson.

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