Release Blitz: Gun Shy by Lili St. Germain

Posted on 10/06/2017 by shellbellereads

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Gun Shy

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: October 6, 2017

A stand alone psychological thriller.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

In the middle of a fierce snowstorm in Gun Creek, Nevada, seventeen-year-old Jennifer Thomas disappears without a trace.

The second girl in nine years.

Identical cases. Identical conditions. Only last time, the girl was found. Dead, stuffed in a well beside the creek that feeds the town’s water supply.

The killer was never found.

As the small town mobilizes and searches for newly vanished Jennifer Thomas, one suspect comes to the fore. But did he do it? Or is there something else at play? Something nobody could have anticipated?

For Jennifer’s friend Cassie Carlino, the worst is yet to come. As she pins MISSING posters to store windows and joins the search, she begins to suspect that Jennifer’s disappearance might be much closer to her than she could have ever imagined.

CASSIE

I am a girl with a darkness inside me.

Carefully placed. Cleverly concealed.

A darkness that could devour you.

One hand on a cold pane of glass, watching the snow fall outside. It’s pitch-black out here, far away from bright city lights. You can’t see a goddamned thing. You can only feel fingers digging into your hips, hot and insistent, a tug of hair, a smack of skin, and the snowflakes as they fall through the weak pool of light that the porch light illuminates below. And the pain. He’s not gentle when he uses me to satisfy his want.
I think he likes it like this, up on the bed, against the window, as if somebody might see. But nobody could ever possibly see. It’s too dark. No streetlights. No houses for a clear half-mile in every direction.

Just us, and the silence, and the darkness.

And the snowflakes, steady as they fall, through that yellow beam below.

You could never count them all. One blink and you’d miss some. One sharp stab of pain that drives your face into the mattress, and you’d miss plenty.

And that’s the point, I suppose. You keep counting. You watch the snow fall, and you count every snowflake your eyes can catch until it’s finally over.

* * *

The darkness wasn’t always there. I was bright and shiny once. There was no tarnish at my edges, no very bad thing that existed inside me. I had a mother, and a boyfriend, and a life. I was loved. I had plans and goals and aspirations.

One moment and they were all gone.

I know what you’ll think after you hear my story.
You’ll think I went mad when I saw Leo being burned alive, or when I gazed down at my comatose mother in the hospital after, as words like brain swelling and head-on collision drifted through the air, meant for me but headed somewhere beyond.

Or maybe, maybe, you’ll think it was during that first time, on the kitchen floor, a tangle of limbs, palm pressed against desperate lips, fingers squeezing wrists until it felt like they would snap.

And every time I’ll tell you, you are wrong. That, even as I cried in the aftermath of his sudden interest in me, I still was a girl without a black coal heart.

I can tell you the exact moment the darkness burrowed in to stay. I imagine it like some filthy worm, coming up from the earth, chewing a neat circle in my skin and wriggling in. Finding that hollow space beneath my heart, in my ribcage, and curling up. Sated. Satisfied. Warm. I feel it sometimes when I’m frightened, and my heart won’t slow down. It beats like crazy like a machine gun with the trigger locked on. I can’t breathe. My vision tunnels. In those moments, I imagine the worm, how happy it must be, how comfortable within my fragile chest.

It’s strange how you know something has happened, even if you can’t remember it.
When you wake up in your bed, and the sheets beneath you are wet, and you haven’t wet the bed since you were little, a three-year-old girl who started to cry because she’d slept through instead of getting up and going to the bathroom.
Eighteen years old, naked, and laying in a cold, wet spot, damp thighs and a bitter taste on your tongue. The taste of a medication you took once after your dad died and you started having nightmares that kept you awake. The bitter pill that your mother crushed into a glass of milk for you, the one that knocked you under and held you there in a chokehold, so that you could still see the nightmares in your sleep, but could no longer wake up from them. It was terrifying then, and it’s terrifying now. It’s in your mouth and in your nostrils and down the back of your throat and all you can remember is a low voice that says, Finish your milk, Cassandra.

You have been drugged.
Somebody has undressed you, tucked you into your bed, and they have used you. They have left something inside you.
A darkness. A coiled, buzzing midnight that becomes all you’ve ever known.
You don’t like it at first. It frightens you.
The darkness is where nightmares come to life.
But after time goes by, you start to feel differently.

You begin to realize that the darkness you’ve been given is not a burden, but a gift.

Lili writes dark, delicious romance full of love, lust and revenge. Her USA Today Bestselling Gypsy Brothers series focuses on a morally bankrupt biker gang and the young woman who seeks her vengeance upon them. The Cartel series is a trilogy that explores the beginnings of the club, published through HarperCollins.

Lili quit corporate life to focus on writing and so far is loving every minute of it. Her other loves in life include her gorgeous husband and beautiful daughter, excellent coffee, Tarantino movies and spending hours on Instagram.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Author Links

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Chapter Reveal: Gun Shy by Lili St. Germain

Posted on 09/25/2017 by shellbellereads

****

Gun Shy

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: October 6, 2017

A stand alone psychological thriller.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

In the middle of a fierce snowstorm in Gun Creek, Nevada, seventeen-year-old Jennifer Thomas disappears without a trace.

The second girl in nine years.

Identical cases. Identical conditions. Only last time, the girl was found. Dead, stuffed in a well beside the creek that feeds the town’s water supply.

The killer was never found.

CASSIE

The center of town is teeming with reporters when we arrive. The mood is somber, self-conscious, even. Can an entire town be collectively self-conscious? They’re shy, that’s for sure. We don’t get a whole lot of visitors in Gun Creek. Certainly not ones who stick microphones in your face and blast you with questions while you’re still half-asleep.

Damon parks the patrol car right across the front doors of the police station, his face drawn and tense. It must be a fucking nightmare, being in charge of an entire town like this. Especially when something like this happens.

I can only imagine how bad things are going to get at home if they don’t find this girl soon.

“These people are fucking vultures,” he mutters, and I make a noise signaling my agreement. He gets out, opening my door for me.

I muster up a plastic smile as Damon holds out my purse, the strap dangling on his outstretched finger.

“Thanks,” I say, taking the bag and slinging it over my shoulder. I put my oversized dollar-store sunglasses on my face, the day already too bright for me to bear.

“You okay?” Damon asks.

“Always,” I reply, walking away from him before he can say anything else. I should ask him if he’s okay, but that would mean pretending that I care.

I have something important that I need, something immediate.

I’m an asshole because I know I should care about the fact that a girl I’ve grown up with is missing, but I have more pressing personal matters.

I need to take care of myself, first. I head for the diner, fifty feet away, already late for my shift. I push past reporters, hanging eagerly at the doors they’re forbidden to cross. They have to hover outside in the snow for their pound of flesh, their soundbites, their newsworthy quotes from Jennifer’s distraught friends and family. I see Casey Mulligan, a girl I went to school with, twirling a strand of long blonde hair around her finger as she musters up a couple of fat tears for a news camera, and it strikes me, just like last time, that the people who get the most attention in this world are the ones who least deserve it.

Still, I’m glad it’s not me. Last thing I want is a camera in my face. I slip by, unassisted, unseen, an invisible girl with a hollow spot inside me. I notice the crates of milk that get delivered to Dana’s every morning are still stacked out front and I grab one as I approach, throwing my purse on top and bracing my stomach muscles to carry the thirty-odd pounds worth of liquid weight. One of our regulars holds the door open for me and I smile in thanks, lugging the milk crate through the diner and toward the cold storage out back.

I’m making my way down the main entrance, past rows of tables and customers talking feverishly about Jennifer, my arms full of milk bottles when it happens.

I see him. Him.

I stop.

My arms stop functioning. I drop everything; the milk crate, my purse, my practiced neutral expression. The purse wafts to the floor, the milk bottles hurtle down with an unceremonious crash, and blue plastic lids burst off and go skittering in every direction.

I sink to my knees, in shock. People are looking at me, but I don’t pay attention to them. I’m too busy fixated on the green-eyed ghost standing in front of me. The splinters in my knees sting like fire-ant bites, and I curl my legs to the side, coming to a sitting position.

“Shit!” Leo says, dropping his backpack to the ground and crouching in front of me. “Cass. Cassie. Are you okay?”

My entire body is alight, little pinpricks along my skin that make me dizzy. The feeling spreads like wildfire, across my chest and through my limbs until I’m overwhelmed and frozen on the spot, sitting on my ass in the middle of the diner, voices and whispers all around.

I watch in fascination as milk spreads in a puddle in front of me, like spilled blood. It rushes at me like a miniature tsunami as a painful buzz begins in my head.

“You’re gonna pass out,” Leo says, his words sounding far away as he reaches out a hand to help me up. “Jesus, Cassie, you’re white as a sheet.”

I hold my hand out, the conviction in my reach laughable, and it’s like that moment of electricity that people talk about. I can feel it build in my fingertips, that arc of some invisible thing that wants to join with his invisible thing, but then a hand wraps around my wrist and yanks my arm away before I can make contact with the boy — no, with the man — I thought was still in prison.

“Did he hurt you?” Damon’s voice in my ear breaks my dream-like state. I open my mouth to say something and decide against it, swallowing air instead. I shake my head.

“How’d you get on the ground?” Damon asks, shaking me a little.

“She fell down,” Leo says, his arm no longer outstretched. He takes a step away from me, and Jesus, it hurts. He looks anguished. “She dropped the milk and she fell down.” I can’t stop looking at him. I can’t bear to look at him.

The milk has reached me. It seeps across my right knee, curled underneath me; the backs of my thighs, my palms. It’s ice cold, and I can feel myself shaking.

Damon is crouched next to me, his hand on my cheek, diverting my attention to him. “Are you all right, Cassie?” he asks, helping me to my feet, his tone gathering more urgency with each question I don’t answer. Amanda is picking up the milk bottles beside us, piling them high in her arms as I continue to stare at Leo. He’s… different. He has tattoos now. He looks exactly the same but entirely reconstructed. He’s eight years older, I realize. A third of his life, gone. A third of mine. It feels like it’s been forever. It feels like it’s been no time at all.

Deputy Chris appears, looking between me and Leo with uncertainty. Why didn’t anyone tell me? How the hell did Leo just materialize from thin air in the Grill?

“Cassie,” Damon snaps, and I know he means business.

I nod. “I’m fine. I’m okay.” I think of where I was going before I saw fucking Leo. Pills. Purge. “I need a minute.”

“I’ll take you home,” Damon says, his hand on the small of my back as he starts to guide me toward the front doors. I panic, pushing him away.

“You have a missing girl to find,” I say quickly. “I’m fine, really. I just need some aspirin.” And a fucking gun, so I can put myself out of my misery.

“I’ll walk you there,” Damon says, ever the hero. If they only knew, I think to myself, as Amanda opens the staff room door and ushers us inside.

“Give us a minute,” Damon says, giving Amanda a concerned look. She nods, closing the door and waiting out in the hallway as Damon closes the blinds and twists the lock on the door.

“Didn’t think he’d have the balls to show his face in public,” Damon says, and that’s when I understand.

I feel the blood drain from my cheeks as I realize. He knew. He knew Leo would be here today. I ask him with my eyes, searching, imploring. His expression tells me everything.

“You could have warned me,” I whisper.

His eyes narrow. “I considered it. Figured it was better you didn’t know in advance.” He pauses. “Didn’t expect you to fall to your knees in front of him.”

“Fuck you,” I seethe.

Damon’s jaw twitches. “I’m sorry,” he offers, almost as if he’s suggesting an apology rather than delivering one.

I reach for the lock, twisting it and cracking the door open. The temporary quiet we’ve had is pierced by the excited noise of a diner who’s just witnessed the tragic reunion of two star-crossed lovers, or maybe they’re all just gossiping about the missing girl.

“Jennifer,” I hiss at Damon. One word. It works. He shakes his head, his blue eyes fucking burning with anger, but he leaves.

Holy shit. As soon as he’s gone, I close the door again. I don’t bother locking it — who’s going to find me in here? Leo’s long gone if he’s got any sense, and as much as I don’t care about anything, the thought of Amanda having to mop up the milk I spilled makes me so fucking guilty I can barely breathe.

Pills. Purge. Yes.

I go into the staff bathroom, a small tiled square off the main staff room, and start to throw up as soon as the door is closed. I don’t even need to stick my finger down my throat — I’m so full of adrenaline from seeing Leo, I just open my mouth and everything comes out. It’s the kind of vomit that gets in your nose and burns behind your eyes and makes you cry with the way it chokes you.

When I’ve emptied my stomach and I stop gagging, I clean myself up, my head feeling like it might split in two. I’m so hot I think I might burst into flames. I take off my cardigan, my fingers clumsy and damp, and use it to wipe my face.

Pills. Yes. I go back out to the staff room, seeking whatever pharmaceutical bliss I can rummage up from my staff locker. I didn’t switch the overhead lights on when I first came in, and the windowless cave is dim, the only illumination coming from the slightly ajar bathroom door and the fluorescent strips that line its ceiling.

The staff room is empty. Except… it’s not.

Leo. He’s here. Somehow, the only person here with me is the one person I shouldn’t be anywhere near.

He looks at me with eyes that have seen violence since I last gazed into them. I know because I recognize the hardness inside his soul; it matches mine.

My face is a blank canvas, but inside I’m screaming.

Not with fear. With longing. And shame. I want the boy who destroyed everything to pick me up and take me into the bathroom and put his hands all over me. I want him to erase every trace of the last decade. Under my shirt, my nipples stiffen, and shame pools in my belly.

I shouldn’t want to be anywhere near this boy after what he did, but I do.

“I’m sorry,” Leo says. His voice. Oh, God. I don’t remember his voice being that fucking beautiful. It’s deep and full and if it were a food, it’d be honey. He’s not a boy anymore. He’s a man now. A stranger.

His face falls as he gestures to my stomach, concerned. “You have blood on your shirt,” he says, pointing from a safe distance. “Did you cut yourself when you fell?” He looks remorseful. Like he thinks the blood on my shirt is his fault.

My heart sinks. I shake my head tightly, tears springing to my eyes.

“Not my blood,” I say, my voice coming out like a squeak. Leo looks confused.

“The dog,” I stammer. “Rox. She — she—”

“I saw her yesterday,” Leo says, his eyes wide as he looks from my eyes to the blood on my shirt. I didn’t even realize it was there. I’d been wearing my sweater until I took it off just now.

“She’s dead,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

Leo takes a step back. Something passes over his face, a darkness, a fleeting suspicion. “How?” he asks.

I don’t know how to answer that. So I don’t. I push past him and start walking to the kitchen, as fast as I can, because I don’t have an answer for him. My shoulder burns from where I grazed his arm on the way out of the staff room. He might have ruined my life, destroyed my family, taken my future in one careless night — but Leo Bentley still makes me burn like hellfire.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

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Release Blitz + Excerpt : Empire by Lili St. Germain – Cartel Series – Book 3

Posted on 12/19/2016 by shellbellereads

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Empire

Cartel Series – Book 3

By Lili St. Germain

Buy: Amazon / B & N / IBooks / Kobo

Synopsis

People aren’t born monsters.

They’re created.

I’d been with Dornan Ross for the better part of a decade. Slept in his bed, sewn up his wounds, tasted his blood, seen inside his soul.

But even I wasn’t prepared for what he did.

I should have known it would always come down to this, from the very moment I laid eyes on him in that motel.

I should have known his salvation was too good to be true.

Because it’s all gone now, the impossible love I had for him bleeding away in the darkness that came afterward.

Now there’s only hate.

Now I just want to escape.

Even if it means I have to kill him to be free.

empire-3

Excerpt

John paid the waitress and she took my waffles to box up. I’d barely touched them, too busy talking, but I might want them after a couple of hours’ sleep.

‘You got a bathroom?’ John asked her. The woman looked at him like he was an idiot. She didn’t even respond with words, just pointed to a door in the back.

‘I’m gonna go get this cleaned up,’ he said.

I held up my purse. ‘I’ll come with you. I brought extra gauze. Since you insist on not getting stitches.’

Luckily there was a staff bathroom and changeroom that nobody seemed to be using. John held the door open for me and then locked it, testing it to make sure it couldn’t open. We were good. He leaned down while I took off the old gauze and tried my best to clean the wound again. It was deep, and looked nasty.

‘Does it hurt?’ I asked him. He shrugged. ‘I’ve had things hurt a lot more.’ ‘Like what?’ He licked his lips, put his hands on my waist. ‘Like my cock right now.’ Lust dragged through my belly like wildfire and I swear, I felt my pupils dilate. ‘Oh, yeah? Your cock needs medical attention, too?’

He smirked, pulling me close with a forceful jerk. I could feel his hardness against my belly, and I wanted it all to myself. An empty ache throbbed between my thighs, demanding to be filled.

He brought a finger to my chin, tilting my face up to his. One kiss. That was all it took for my lamb to become a lion.

‘Take your fucking panties off before I rip them off.’ His eyes burned with desire and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Shit. I was about ready to come just from his words.

I hitched my skirt up, making it a show for him as I hooked my thumbs into the edges of my panties and slid them down my thighs. I was wearing white panties, and there was a clear wet patch on the inside. John saw it as I stepped out of the panties and he made a growling noise in the back of his throat, snatching them from me.

He fell to his knees before me, prising my thighs apart. I had to shuffle my feet wider apart to accommodate him. His tongue touched me, ever so gently, and it took everything inside me not to scream.

‘John,’ I begged. I wasn’t even sure what I was begging for. I just knew that I needed him, desperately. He slid a finger inside me and I tightened around it, involuntary, pulsing with need. A finger wasn’t going to be enough. I needed him. Inside me. Now. I squeezed his head, my hands fisted in his hair. Every time his tongue touched me, it was like a fucking inferno lit up inside me. Every time he pulled away, I pressed my hips forward, seeking that wet caress that was threatening to bring me undone in a Denny’s bathroom stall. Of all places. Guess I’d been wrong. Seemed we really were going to fuck in a restaurant bathroom.

When he pulled his face away, I just about crumpled over on myself. I caught a look at myself in the mirror – clumped mascara from the nap I’d taken on the kitchen counter earlier; my cheeks flushed.

‘Somebody might catch us,’ John said, that teasing glint in his eye.

I held onto his arms, my legs still shaking from the way he’d cruelly taunted me until I was almost coming. ‘Let’s shoot everyone on that bridge when we come to it,’ I said, pulling my tank top down to expose a nipple. I pulled his hair, and he went with it, bringing his mouth to my pebbled nipple and sucking hard enough that pleasure hummed dangerously close to pain.

He pulled his mouth away and picked me up effortlessly, his hands cupping my ass cheeks. ‘Wrap your legs around me,’ he murmured. I did, breathless with anticipation as he walked me backward to the sink. He dropped me onto the edge, and luckily the thing was built solid enough, because he hitched my skirt up and slammed into me so hard, my head went back into the mirror and left a little crack in the glass. Not enough to draw blood. Not even enough to see stars. But enough that I hoped I’d be driving past this Denny’s with Dornan one time, and have to stop off, and come in here to relive this moment, one crack in the mirror and John’s hand over my mouth as he made me come so hard, I drew blood along his arm with my fingernails. Especially when he pulled back and with every insistent thrust inside me, he told me he loved me. I love you. Fuck. I love you. Fuck! At one point, I thought his love was going to send me through the wall and into the next room. With my free hand I gripped the edge of the basin, as hot, wet kisses trailed up my neck, one thumb on my clit, making me come so hard I bit down on his shoulder without thinking, and John shuddered forcefully as he came inside me.

I felt bruised inside. I’d be sore for days after that. Some very sick part of me wondered if I’d still feel like this, raw and tender, the next time Dornan put his hands or his mouth or his cock near me.

I hoped so.

I know, it’s not right. I never said I was a good person, did I? Part of me was already looking forward to the bruised places Dornan would touch inside me, the map John had made when he’d fucked me, and that Dornan would never know I was feeling John’s touch when he was inside me.

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ABOUT THE CARTEL TRILOGY

How much is a life worth?

Mariana Rodriguez is the eldest daughter of a Colombian drug lord. Growing up in Villanueva, Colombia, she has never wanted for anything. Private schools, a lavish lifestyle, and the safety of the Cartel that her father works for.

At nineteen, she’s got her entire life mapped out, and what a good life it’s going to be: graduate from college, move to America, and finally be free from the stifling grip of the Cartel.

Only, her father messes up. A shipment of cocaine – a very large, very valuable shipment – is seized by the authorities whilst under his care and he becomes liable for the debt. Half a million dollars’ worth of cocaine.

Half a million dollars he does not have.

But he has a daughter, a very smart one, a daughter who would give up her very existence and offer herself as payment for her father’s sins, to ensure her family survives.

But falling in love with the man who owns her isn’t part of the plan…

Series link: www.lilisaintgermain.com/the-cartel-trilogy

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lili Lili writes dark romance, suspense and paranormal stories. Her serial novel, Seven Sons, was released in early 2014, with the following books in the series to be released in quick succession. Lili quit corporate life to focus on writing and so far is loving every minute of it. Her other loves in life include her gorgeous husband and beautiful daughter, good coffee, Tarantino movies and spending hours on Pinterest.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Pinterest

Excerpt Reveal: Gun Shy by Lili St. Germain

Posted on 06/16/2016 by shellbellereads

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Gun Shy

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: June 27, 2016

Pre Order: ITunes

Synopsis:

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

In the middle of a fierce snowstorm in Gun Creek, Nevada, a teenage girl disappears without a trace.

The second girl in as many years.

Identical cases. Identical conditions. Only last time, the girl was found. Dead, floating face-down in the creek that feeds the town’s water supply.

The killer was never found.

As the small town mobilises and searches for newly vanished Jennifer Thomas, one suspect comes to the fore. But did he do it? Or is there something else at play? Something nobody could have anticipated?

For Jennifer’s classmate Cassie Carlino, the worst is yet to come. As she pins MISSING posters to store windows and joins the search, she begins to suspect that Jennifer’s disappearance might be much closer to her than she could have ever imagined.

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Excerpt

Damon smiles; his lazulite eyes crease up ever-so-slightly at the edges. I imagine how beautiful he would have looked as a young child. How his mother would have melted whenever he smiled up at her. Because his eyes deceive. They don’t look empty. They’re beautiful, full of the souls of everyone else he’s sucked dry and left in his quest to find that something, that perfect thing to fill him up.

I can see myself in his eyes. My soul. He’s taken it from me.

“Do you feel empty, Damon?” I whisper.

He rests a hand on my upper thigh, all trace of his smile gone as he matches his fingers to the bruises he left on me in the night, in the dark.

“Not when I’m inside you.”

I think about Leo Bentley. The way his face fell when he saw me after the accident. After he ploughed his car into my mother’s and rendered her a living corpse, trapped between the living and the dead while a machine breathes for her. The way he cried as he begged me to forgive him for what he’d done.

I wonder where he is. If he’s as miserable as me.

I guess I’ll never know.

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About the Author

Lili Saint Germain

lili st germain Lili writes dark, disturbing romance. Her #1 bestselling Gypsy Brothers series was created in a serial format – quick, intense episodes released frequently with some wicked cliffhangers. The Gypsy Brothers series focuses on a morally bankrupt biker gang and the girl who seeks her vengeance upon them. The Cartel series is a prequel trilogy of full-length novels that explores the beginnings of the club, to be released in 2015 by HarperCollins.

Lili quit corporate life to focus on writing and so far is loving every minute of it. Her other loves in life include her gorgeous husband and beautiful daughter, good coffee, Tarantino movies and spending hours on Pinterest.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Pinterest

gun shy cover

Cover Reveal: Gun Shy by Lili St. Germaine

Posted on 02/16/2016 by shellbellereads

gun shy cover

Gun Shy

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: May 10, 2016

Pre Order: ITunes

Synopsis:

GUN SHY

A standalone romantic psychological thriller.

There are two thousand people living in Gun Creek, Nevada.

Only one of them knows what really happened that night.

One year ago, my boyfriend almost killed my mother.

One year ago, my stepfather became my legal guardian.

One year ago, my whole world ended.

The boy I loved was the boy who ended my world; Leo drank too much, got behind the wheel and smashed his car into my mother’s as she drove home from work. I believe him when he says it was an accident, but there’s only so much you can forgive when you’ve seen your mother laid out on a hospital gurney, all pale skin and damp hair from where they’ve tried to wash the blood away. There’s only so much you can forgive as you watch a nurse feed her through a feeding tube, because your mother has turned into a ghost.

There’s only so much you can forgive when your stepfather—the untouchable town Sheriff—moves into your bedroom and forces you to fulfill his every dark desire.

Yesterday the mailman handed me a letter from the prison where Leo’s being held. Leo’s getting out. The boy who stole my mother and thrust me into this hell? He gets to walk free after one lousy year. He gets to move on with his life, and start again, and I’m trapped in this nightmare that never seems to end.

One year ago, my boyfriend almost killed my mother.

One year ago, my stepfather became my legal guardian.

One year ago, my whole world ended.

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LILI ST GERMAIN BIO USE Lili writes dark, disturbing romance. Her #1 bestselling Gypsy Brothers series was created in a serial format – quick, intense episodes released frequently with some wicked cliffhangers. The Gypsy Brothers series focuses on a morally bankrupt biker gang and the girl who seeks her vengeance upon them. The Cartel series is a prequel trilogy of full-length novels that explores the beginnings of the club, to be released in 2015 by HarperCollins.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Pinterest

gun shy cover

Release Blitz + Excerpt + 5 Star Review + Giveaway: Zero Hour by Lili St. Germain – The Gypsy Brothers Epilogue

Posted on 11/24/2015 by shellbellereads

Zero Hour

A Gypsy Brothers Epilogue

By Lili St. Germain

Buy: Amazon / Amazon UK / B & N / ITunes / Kobo

Synopsis

The final, shocking conclusion to the #1 bestselling Gypsy Brothers series.

Juliette Portland’s purpose was simple: Seduce. Kill. Avenge. Once Dornan Ross and his sons were dead, her future was supposed to be clear. Her life was finally going to begin. And love… Against all the odds, she had the love of a boy she never thought she’d see again.

Everything should have gone according to plan. Everything should have been easy once Dornan was dead and buried.

But nothing’s ever that easy, is it?

Juliette

I might have survived Dornan’s wrath, but I was different then. Younger. Stupider. I’ve had too much time to think since I got out of the cage he locked me in. I’ve had too much time to dream about all the things he did to me.
I think about revenge a lot. When I’m thinking of the way the light dimmed in Dornan’s dying eyes and the way he said you killed my sons.
How beautiful it was, and how hollow.

Jason

Sometimes, I can’t tell if I’m starting to become him. My father. Dornan. The way I am, the things I’ve done—they make Juliette’s sins look like child’s play.
Of course, I’d never tell her that. I’ll never tell her the things I’ve done.
It doesn’t mean she won’t find out anyway.
Book 8 in the USA Today Bestselling Gypsy Brothers series. No cliffhanger.
Series Reading Order

THE GYPSY BROTHERS SERIES

Book 1 – Seven Sons (FREE)
Book 2 – Six Brothers
Book 3 – Five Miles
Book 4 – Four Score
Book 5 – Three Years
Book 6 – Two Roads
Book 7 – One Love
Alternate Novella – FREE at http://smarturl.it/GetLilisFreeBook
Book 8 – Zero Hour
THE CARTEL TRILOGY (A Gypsy Brothers prequel series)

Book 1 – Cartel (available now)
Book 2 – Kingpin (coming December 14, 2015)
Book 3 – Empire (coming 2016)

https://youtu.be/fk_4X6Lkb_g

Excerpt

“When you blank out. When you go away. You’re with him, aren’t you?”

I take a step back. I feel like I’ve been punched. I don’t respond. I don’t even say, who do you mean, because we both know who we’re talking about here.

“Hey,” Jase snaps. “I want you to answer me.”

I can’t breathe. It’s like Dornan’s in the room. I feel his warm breath on my neck, the way he always tasted the same in my mouth. Like salt and cigarettes.

“Answer me,” Jase growls.

I break. “What?” I hiss. “What do you want from me? Do you want me to lie? I was supposed to kill him, and that was meant to be the end of it.”

Jase looks like he’s about to hit another wall. Or me.

“He’s dead,” he spits, “He’s dead, but you’re the one who’s gone. I need you to come back. I need you to come back to me.”

“I don’t know how!” I yell.

“You’re not trying!” he explodes. “You just sit here, in your dark little universe, thinking about him! Did you think about him while I was fucking you last night? Huh?”

Michel’s Review

The Zero Hour is the grand finale of the Gypsy Brothers series. It cannot be read as a stand alone novel and must be read in series order.

Jase and Jules have reached the Zero Hour. Revenge has been taken. The final judgement has been rendered. Souls have been taken and it has not only been their enemies souls. They have paid the price but it wasn’t enough. They may have had a victory but it was only the beginning of the real war. The ultimate battle has begun. They are at war within themselves, trying to find peace within their souls. The battle scars they carry are not just on the surface but covering their souls. The Gypsy Brothers and Dornan Ross destroyed them completely. Now they will have to fight their biggest battle, they will have to fight their demons and find the soul they lost long ago.

Revenge isn’t always sweet. It has tentacles that are far reaching long after retribution has been delivered. Both Jules and Jase were raised in a horrific world that destroyed everything good within themselves. Their only saving grace was their love for one another and the deep bond they shared. This may not be enough. Both are too damaged. To top it off they are still on the run from the Cartel and The Gypsy Brothers MC. The DEA is using them as pawns and no matter where they go they are not safe. It’s time to take matters into their own hands and destroy their enemies once and for all. It is time to take back their souls. This time it is not about revenge. Is not about surviving their world. It’s about taking back their lives and living them. It’s the Zero Hour and it’s time to seize their lives.

Lili St. Germain delivered an epic ending for the Gypsy Brothers series. It was a fast paced, nail biting ending with an emotional twist that validated every moment of their lives. It was the perfect ending for Jules and Jase. They seized the moment and found their happiness as the clock ticked down to the Zero Hour.

ALL 7 books in the COMPLETE Gypsy Brothers series are now in ONE SET!

Lili has INCLUDED BONUS EXCLUSIVE NOVELLA!

Buy: Amazon / Amazon UK / B & N / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

The Gypsy Brothers

Lili’s USA Today Bestselling series, together in one edition !

This bundle contains all books in the Gypsy Brothers series plus a bonus exclusive novella. The reading order for the series is:
SEVEN SONS
SIX BROTHERS
FIVE MILES
FOUR SCORE
THREE YEARS
TWO ROADS
ONE LOVE
&
ALTERNATE

A Gypsy Brothers novella featuring chapters told from Jase, Elliot and Dornan’s points of view.

Buy: Amazon / Amazon UK / B & N / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

***************

**This bundle contains all books in the Gypsy Brothers series plus a bonus exclusive novella.**

Lili writes dark romance, suspense and paranormal stories. Her serial novel, Seven Sons, was released in early 2014, with the following books in the series to be released in quick succession. Lili quit corporate life to focus on writing and so far is loving every minute of it. Her other loves in life include her gorgeous husband and beautiful daughter, good coffee, Tarantino movies and spending hours on Pinterest.

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Pinterest

GIVEAWAY
$100 Amazon Gift Card

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Release Blitz: Gypsy Brothers Box Set with new novella Alternate… by Lili St. Germain

Posted on 09/07/2015 by shellbellereads

ALL 7 books in the COMPLETE Gypsy Brothers series are now in ONE SET! This dark, adrenaline-induced, revenge BIKER series is ONLY $0.99 for one week.

DO NOT miss this epic sale!

If you are already a fan of the series — Lili has INCLUDED BONUS EXCLUSIVE NOVELLA!

Buy: Amazon / Amazon UK / B & N / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

The Gypsy Brothers

*LIMITED EDITION ON SALE FOR ONE WEEK ONLY – INCLUDES BONUS EXCLUSIVE NOVELLA*

Lili’s USA Today Bestselling series, together in one edition for the first time!

Contains ALTERNATE – A Gypsy Brothers novella featuring chapters told from Jase, Elliot and Dornan’s points of view.

My father was most certainly NOT an innocent man. As the leader of the Gypsy Brothers Motorcycle Club, he was guilty of many things. But he died for a crime that he didn’t commit, framed by an enemy within who then stole his club and everything he had ever worked to protect.

Including my innocence.

When Dornan Ross framed my father, he set into motion a series of events that could never be undone. My father was murdered by Dornan Ross and his sons when I was fifteen years old.

Before my father died, Dornan Ross and his sons stole my innocence, branded my skin and in doing so, ensured that their lives would be prematurely cut short. That they would suffer.

I’ve just turned twenty-one, and I’m out for blood. I’m out for revenge.

But I didn’t expect to fall for Jase, the youngest brother in the club.

I didn’t expect that he would turn my world upside down, yank my heart out of my chest and ride away into the sunset with it.

Now, I’m faced with an impossible choice – Jase, or avenging my fathers death?

Buy: Amazon / Amazon UK / B & N / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

https://youtu.be/fk_4X6Lkb_g

***************

**This bundle contains all books in the Gypsy Brothers series plus a bonus exclusive novella.**

Excerpts

Confucius said, “Before embarking upon a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

I planned to dig seven.

Sometimes I don’t think about it for hours at a time. Sometimes, a whole day will pass, and it’ll be there, under the surface, burning my insides with the brutality of its truth. My truth.

And I’ll get home from my dead-end job in this dead-end fucking town in the asshole of Nebraska, and I’ll have almost made it through a whole day of not thinking about it, about my father and Dornan Ross and his sons.

But then I’ll do something without thinking, like undress to go to bed, or slide under the covers of my bed. And I’ll see the marks they branded on my right hip – seven horizontal lines, each stacked on top of each other, made by casting the blunt edge of a butcher’s knife into fire and then pressing it into my flesh. A line for Dornan Ross and a line for each of his six older sons. Notches on a bedpost. Scarred for a lifetime so that I can never forget. Some are thicker than others, some short and others long, but each one a devastating reminder of everything they took from me that night.

Even if I stay in my stale clothes to avoid seeing my scars, I still can’t escape them. I never sleep well. I toss and turn, fitful and drenched in sweat, awakening from nightmares where they find me and turn the knife to the sharp side. Where they don’t just brand me – they cut me until I am dead, so I won’t talk to the police. I know things, see. I know things that the police don’t, about purchased alibis and body disposal spots, about too many girls who went missing and too many men who kept too many secrets.

I used to wish every day and every night to forget about my fathers murderer and what he did to us. Not anymore. Now I want to remember every tiny detail so that I can exact my revenge.

Tomorrow is different. Tomorrow is my twenty-first birthday, the day I gain access to my secret inheritance. The several hundred thousand that my father managed to hide before Dornan framed him for the murder of a policeman and his family, a crime that Dornan and his eldest son committed as retribution for a drug bust that almost wiped the club out. It might be dirty money – my father wasn’t above money laundering and drug manufacturing – but it was his money. Dornan managed to seize control of the rest when he enacted his devastating betrayal.

Tomorrow is truly my birthday, for I will become another person. Today my name is Juliette Portland, but tomorrow I will wake up as someone else entirely.

Someone who will bring Dornan Ross and the Gypsy Brothers Motorcycle Club to their knees.

DORNAN

I see the panic in her eyes, and it makes my cock throb.

Yes. It’s my turn now, you silly little girl.

I’m going to twist her diabolical fucking soul until she’s completely at my mercy, knees on the ground and mouth on my cock, sucking and begging for forgiveness all at the same time. There’s going to be so much more blood in our future, and it’s going to be beautiful.

“I know you think this is going to be bad,” I say, pleasure and rage sizzling in my veins, “but however bad you think this is going to be, it’s going to be So.Much.Worse.”

JASE

There’s something to be said about a person who’s been put in hell and doesn’t lose themselves.

But what if you find yourself there instead?

“Say it,” Chad said, sliding one finger inside Rails so that she flinched. Even with the drugs, the rough way he was poking and prodding at her must have hurt. “Say you’re no better than us. Say you’re one of us and I’ll let her go.” I looked to Rails, but she wasn’t even there. Whatever drug was in her bloodstream, it looked effective.

“I’m no better than you.” I ground out.

“And?” Chad prompted, snaking his tongue out to lick Raelene’s earlobe.

I shuddered.

“And I’m one of you.”

“One of what?”

“A fucking Gypsy Brother!” I screamed.

Normal men don’t want to hurt the women they love.

Normal men don’t have a darkness inside them.

But I’m not normal. I never was. I might’ve been patched in by force, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got GYPSY BROTHERS forever etched into my skin, and their blood running through my veins.

I might look like a good person on the surface, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m Dornan Ross’s son.

ELLIOT

Why’d we have to meet the way we did, in a goddamn nightmare? She was so beautiful and passionate in the moments her demons weren’t dragging her beneath the murky waters and drowning her. Selfishly, I wished she would try harder to be that girl who laughed and said funny things, dazzling me with her smile, instead of the girl who held my gun in her lap and willed herself not to eat it.

“It’s okay, Elliot,” Juliette said, trailing her hand over my cheek. “I’d leave me too, if I could.” I swallowed back all the words I’d never be able to say to her.

____________________________________________________________

Michel’s Review

Alternate

I didn’t think that Lili St. Germain could deliver any more surprises as far as the Gypsy Brothers were concerned. The Ross men were beyond the normal definition of psychotic and twisted. They had their own brand of violence and retribution. Jase was the only member of the family that had any redeeming qualities.

Alternate tells a completely different story. This short novella gets inside the heads of Dornan, Jase, and Elliot. It gives the readers insight to their insanity, their motivations, and conscience. I thought I knew these men but Lili St. Germain threw in a truckload of shockers. I walked away shocked by the revelations. Jase has a whole other dimension to his personality that proves what kind of blood runs through his veins. These revelations are going to make Zero Hour the most intense book in the Gypsy Brothers series. I can’t wait!

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

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5 Star Review: Cartel by Lili St. Germain

Posted on 03/06/2015 by shellbellereads

Cartel

Cartel Series- Book 1

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: January 27, 2015

Synopsis

The first full length Gypsy Brothers novel from the smash hit author Lili St Germain.

How much is a life worth?

I grew up in Colombia, the daughter of a wealthy drug lord. I lived a life of extravagance, until one day a drug run went horribly wrong and everything came crashing down around us.

I was given away. A payment for a debt. The Gypsy Brothers Motorcycle Club became my new owners, and I did everything I could to survive.

But falling in love with the man who owned me wasn’t part of the plan…

Pre- Order: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

Excerpt

His eyes lit up at that as his gaze travelled across my chest and wandered down to the most private of places. I was clothed and covered in the right places, but in front of him, I felt completely naked. The feeling was unnerving and delicious all at once, which only confused me further.

So he’s sexy as hell. It doesn’t matter. He’s the enemy.

‘It doesn’t matter anyway,’ I added hastily. ‘I’ve got a nasty case of the clap. Better not rape me or your pico might fall off.’ I thrust my chin out as I used the Spanish term for ‘small dick’, smirking at the Gypsy Brother as his warm hands continued to roam every bit of bare flesh on my arms.

Dornan laughed at my admission, a throaty noise full of gravel and insolence that made me increasingly unsteady on my feet.

‘I’m not going to rape you,’ he replied, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. ‘And you don’t have the clap. So don’t use that one on me.’

Michel’s Review

Cartel by Lili St. Germain is the first book in the Cartel Trilogy. This series is connected to the Gypsy Brothers series. It is a separate series within itself and features Dornan Ross, the VP of the Gypsy Brothers MC and son to one of the most ruthless Cartels on the west coast.

If you have read the Gypsy Brothers series you are aware of how violent and ruthless Dornan can be. He is not a good man. The Cartel series gives the readers a very vivid insight to Dornan’s life and how he came to be one of the most feared men. He was born into the violence. He was forced to embrace the life. He rebelled by forming the Gypsy Brothers MC. It would seem he is independent of his father and his Cartel but that is far from the truth. His family ties and commitments to the club have united the two. His life is not how he wanted it to be. He has done what he can to survive the life he was born into. His fate is always one second away from death.

When his father acquired the daughter of one the members of the Columbian Cartel, Dornan tried to look the other way and not become involved. His father is known for human trafficking. He’s seen women come and go, live and die. Not his problem. When he has to transport his father’s latest acquisition he finally has some remorse. Mariana Rodriquez has earned his respect and interest. She is strong, smart, beautiful, and has a strong survival instinct. Her life hangs in the balance of his father’s whims. This time he is going to step in and try to save the girl. It may cost both of their lives or it may bring the cartel more money. Either way it goes, Dornan and Mariana are not meant for happily ever afters. The only thing they can hope for is a happily right now. Right now she literally belongs to him. Moments later she could belong in the ground.

This book is intense. It sets the stage for the Gypsy Brothers involvement with the Cartel. The series clearly focuses on Dornan Ross. If you have not read the Gypsy Brothers Series you may want to begin with this series. There are some events and scenes that could be considered spoilers or deal breakers for the Cartel series. The series take place in different time periods and therefore are completely different.

I really liked how Lily developed Dornan’s character in this series. He seems a bit more human. This series is enlightening and gives the reader an understanding of how the Gypsy Brothers evolved into what they are today.

I can’t wait for the second book, Kingpin to release on September 1, 2015.

Be sure to add these books to your reading list:

Kingpin – Book 2

Release Date: September 1, 2015

The second scorching novel in the USA Today bestselling Cartel trilogy from the smash-hit author Lili St Germain.
They say love conquers all.

It’s a lie.

Five days a week, I dressed in smart business clothes. I painted my face, and went to work as an accountant. But nothing about my life was normal.

For eight years I had been the property of the Gypsy Brothers Motorcycle Club. I laundered their money so well they’d never let me leave. My only glimmer of light was the man I loved. The man who had saved me.

Dornan.

His love had been the only thing that kept the demons at bay. But he’d become so immersed in the cartel’s brutal business that I hardly knew him anymore.

Dornan had been my salvation, but he was also my undoing.

Would he pull me down into the darkness until he destroyed me? Could I save him?

Did I even want to?

Empire – Book 3

Release Date: October 1, 2015

The irresistible conclusion to the Cartel trilogy from the smash hit author Lili St Germain.

Gypsy Brothers Series

Seven Sons

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Six Brothers

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Five Miles

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Four Score

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Three Years

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITune

Two Roads

Amazon/ Barnes and Noble / ITunes

One Love

Amazon /Barnes and Noble / ITunes

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

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Release Day Blitz + Giveaway: Cartel by Lili St. Germain – Cartel Series -Book 1

Posted on 01/27/2015 by shellbellereads

Cartel

Cartel Series- Book 1

By Lili St. Germain

Release Date: January 27, 2015

Synopsis

The first full length Gypsy Brothers novel from the smash hit author Lili St Germain.

How much is a life worth?

I grew up in Colombia, the daughter of a wealthy drug lord. I lived a life of extravagance, until one day a drug run went horribly wrong and everything came crashing down around us.

I was given away. A payment for a debt. The Gypsy Brothers Motorcycle Club became my new owners, and I did everything I could to survive.

But falling in love with the man who owned me wasn’t part of the plan…

Pre- Order: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes / Kobo / Google Play

Excerpt

So he’s sexy as hell. It doesn’t matter. He’s the enemy.

Dornan laughed at my admission, a throaty noise full of gravel and insolence that made me increasingly unsteady on my feet.

‘I’m not going to rape you,’ he replied, amusement dancing in his dark eyes. ‘And you don’t have the clap. So don’t use that one on me.’

Gypsy Brothers Series

Seven Sons

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Six Brothers

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Five Miles

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Four Score

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Three Years

Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITune

Two Roads

Amazon/ Barnes and Noble / ITunes

One Love

Amazon /Barnes and Noble / ITunes

She loves to read almost as much as she loves to write.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Pinterest

Giveaway

Signed paperback of Cartel
Gypsy Brothers swag pack containing signed
Cartel postcards and wristbands
Cartel signed wall poster
$25 amazon gift card

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Happy Release: One Love by Lili St. Germain – The Final Book in the Gypsy Brothers Series

Posted on 12/22/2014 by shellbellereads

One Love

The Gypsy Brothers Series- Book 7

Final Book

By Lili St. Germain

Synopsis

*The final book in the #1 iBooks bestselling Gypsy Brothers series*

Will Julz complete her mission for vengeance against the Gypsy Brothers? Or is Dornan still one step ahead?

More shocking secrets will come to light and lives will be lost in this final, devastating instalment of the Gypsy Brothers series.

Buy: Amazon / Barnes and Noble / ITunes

Chapter One

The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.

CHAPTER ONE

“I want my lawyer,” I repeat for the hundredth time.

There are two CIA agents in front of me, and they’re playing a very cheesy rendition of good cop / bad cop.

We’ve been at this for hours. Boss Bitch — Agent Dunn, as she’s since told me — on one side, and her completely dumb but cute male offsider, Agent Brennan, on the other. In my head, to pass the hours, I’ve nicknamed them Agent Bitch and Agent Dumbass. I sit across from them, my hands in my lap, heavy metal cuffs weighing them down.

My throat is dry, my tongue parched. Agent Dumbass has a fresh can of Coke in front of him, and I can see the tiny beads of condensation running down the sides. I want it. I want to reach over and grab the can. I don’t even need to drink what’s inside. I’ll settle for the condensation making its lazy descent down the side of the bright red can and onto the dusty Formica table that separates me from them.

“Let’s try this again,” the female cop says, tucking a loose blonde hair behind her ear. The rest is up in a severe bun that reminds me of a matronly grandmother, even though this woman only looks about thirty. She’s got a slight southern inflection that reminds me of Elliot’s grandma.

I don’t reply, waiting for whatever it is she plans on doing next. Her next big thought, her latest overdone gesture, to try and convince me that I should spill all of my dirty secrets onto this table between us. So far she’s used threats against Jase, a plea deal that would grant me immunity, and long stretches of silence.

None of that will break me. I’ve been tortured by Dornan fucking Ross. This woman’s going to have to try a lot harder, or maybe get out some pliers and start yanking my teeth out of my mouth, before I’ll give her a single damned thing.

She snatches up a manila folder and opens it, handing a photograph to her male offsider. “Stick these up,” she barks at him, and he moves slowly, ripping a section of blue-tack from a large blue ball of the stuff that must live permanently on the wall to my left. I watch, just slightly interested as to what they’re going to try and scare me with.

They don’t disappoint. As I watch them pin 5×7 photographs to the wall, I can’t help but feel some sense of satisfaction for the lives that ended at my hands. I have to remain impassive though, so I tamp down the gloating grin that wants to spread across my face and settle for my resting bitch face instead.

Dunn peeks at me from the corner of her eye, and I return her gaze impassively. She might think she can get under my skin, but I grew up in the Gypsy Brothers MC for shit’s sake. I know how to hold out in front of a cop.

“Chad Ross,” Dunn says, smoothing her pants as she stands up and circles the table, coming to stand next to the photographs her partner is sticking up in a haphazard fashion. I wait for her to reach out and straighten them. Boom. Three seconds later, she does just that, making sure all of the photos line up.

“Chad Ross was poisoned,” she continues, tapping one manicured fingernail against the photo of his bloated death face.

“Looks nasty,” I reply.

“It’s a nasty way to die,” Dunn says, peering at me. “The killer added pure methamphetamine to an energy drink he later consumed. He was probably dead before he hit the ground.”

He wasn’t. He suffered. Thankfully.

“And you’re showing me this why?” I ask, studying my own nails, bitten down to the quick. I never was a girly girl. It’s not easy to keep your nails tidy when you’re constantly trying to claw your way back from death.

Dunn looks at me pointedly before jabbing her fingernail towards the second photo. Ahhh, yes. Maxi in all his naked, bloody glory. His face is a mess from the coke I shoved underneath his nose, the coke laced with strychnine that made blood gush from his nose like warm water from a faucet. I still remember the way his blood felt on my hands. How surreal everything was, bright and garish, as my skull burned with a small amount of the poisoned coke I’d snorted myself.

How I’d nearly died in my quest to kill him.

How it was so worth the risk to see the look on his smarmy fucking face, when I whispered in his ear who I really was and sat back on his lap to watch the fury rise in his cheeks.

As he realized a black widow was the one who’d just fed him his last meal of poison and cocaine.

I glance at Agent Dunn, clearing my throat and attempting to look bored.

“Strychnine-laced cocaine,” she says. “In fact, the same thing you were admitted to hospital for that very night. Jason Ross brought you in to emergency room. They said you almost died.”

“It was a hell of a night,” I reply curtly. “My nose still bleeds just thinking about it.”

She raises her eyebrows in disbelief, and in that moment I have no doubt that she’s cataloguing me as a sociopath or similar.

“Can I ask you a question?” I say suddenly.

“Shoot,” Dunn responds.

I reach my hand out slowly, methodically and take hers, a bold move. She could pepper spray me, shoot me. You’re not supposed to touch the interrogators. But she’s ballsy enough that she doesn’t want to take her hand away, even as I watch her flinch minutely.

“How do you keep your nails so pretty?” I ask sweetly, the saccharine in my voice not reaching the cold death stare I give her. I hold up my other hand. “Mine are hopeless. You spend much time in the field, Agent Dunn?”

She takes her hand away, and I let my own cuffed hands fall back into my lap. I know her skin must be crawling from my touch.

I hope the feeling stays there for a long time. She should not have fucked with me.

“I take good care of myself, Miss Portland,” she says briskly. “Which is more than I can say for you.”

“My child died,” I say blankly. “Physical appearance isn’t on the top of my priority list right now.”

She bristles momentarily. “I am sorry for your loss,” she says finally.

I sit back, crossing my legs. “No, you’re not,” I reply.

She points to the third photograph, which is… hell, I’ve got no idea what that is. I tilt my head, trying to figure out what I’m looking at.

“It’s a leg,” Dunn supplies.

“Ohhh,” I say, nodding. “Thanks.”

It is indeed a leg, or at least part of one. Charred and black, with spots of unmarred flesh and blood still peeking through in sections. Huh. I wonder who it belonged to.

“Two Ross brothers were killed in an explosion. Somebody put homemade bombs in their fuel tanks, can you believe that?”

I shrug. “Sounds like they must have had it coming.”

Dunn points to the final photos, and a cloying heat bleeds up my chest and neck as I remember those three months of horror and torture I endured at Dornan’s hands before I was broken out. The way Dornan’s father Emilio flew backwards with a meaty thump as the top of his head was blown clean off, blood and brains flying everywhere. Mickey’s look of horror that didn’t fade after the bullet entered his face, such a satisfying end for men whose only fault in death was that their ends were much too swift. I imagine how much more satisfying it would have been to hang them by their feet and burn their eyes out with cigarettes and blowtorches, or pull their teeth out with rusty pliers, one by one.

That would have been much more fitting for the men who tried to destroy me, the same men who murdered my father.

Still… they’re dead, and that’s better than them being alive.

“That’s got to give you a headache,” I joke, referring to the last two pictures. The blood and gore have no effect on me. My stomach is made of iron after the atrocities I’ve seen, after all that I’ve endured. If this bitch wants to rattle my cage, she’s going to have to try harder.

“And then we have Jimmy,” she says, sticking one last photograph to the wall. Jimmy’s face, still frozen in shock, the trail of blood from his temple where Jase shot him barely noticeable in the extreme close-up.

“He looks unwell,” I comment. “Thing is, I’m still not sure why you’re showing me all of this.”

Dunn frowns so hard it looks like she’s about to burst a blood vessel.

“Here’s the thing,” she says, throwing a stack of photographs in front of me. “We’ve got you. We have your DNA on the first two victims, and motive. We’ve got probable cause to take you to trial.”

I sift through them, suppressing a twisted smile as I see what happened to Jazz and Ant after they bit the big one when bombs in their motorcycle fuel tanks exploded, ripping them to pieces. It isn’t pretty, what became of them. But to me, it’s beautiful.

I drop the photographs on the table and lean back in the hard metal chair I’ve been sitting on for the past five hours.

“These people are — were — like family to me. Don’t you think it’s a little tacky showing me all of this? I’m still grieving for these boys. They were like brothers to me.”

Agent Dunn actually rolls her eyes at me. At least she’s got some spunk somewhere in there. “Give it a rest, Miss Portland,” she says impatiently. “You’ve got more motive than anyone else, and no alibi for any of these murders.”

“Motive?” I ask sweetly. “And what might that be?”

Agent Dunn hesitates. Go on, I think. Say it. They raped me until they thought I was dead. The murdered my father, and you want to arrest me? Say it.

“I’m not authorized to talk with you about an active investigation,” Dunn says finally. “But I really think you should start talking, Miss Portland.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay,” I say finally. “I give up. You got me. I’ll tell you something. Let me write it down.”

Dunn’s beady eyes practically wig out of her head. She studies me for a moment, probably to see if I’m telling the truth, and I stare right back at her. If she wanted a wallflower who’d stare at the floor, she arrested the wrong girl.

After a beat, she stands up, turns and bustles out of the room. I divert my attention to Agent Dumbass, who looks like he’s about to fall asleep in his chair.

“I’ll make a full confession,” I say, “if you give me that.” I point to the coke can and he eyes it dubiously. After a pause, he slides the can over to me with one finger. With a smile, I pick up the can between my cuffed hands and take a long drink.

The fizzy liquid burns on the way down my throat, but it’s delicious. I drink as much as I can before Agent Bitch returns, setting it back down on the table and smiling at Dumbass. I slide the can back towards him with a wink. Let him think we’re friends. Let him think I’m just a silly young girl who couldn’t possibly hurt anyone. He looks surprised, taking the can back as Agent Bitch walks back into the room.

She looks between me, the can and the goofy look on Agent Dumbass’s face and shakes her head.

Sliding into her seat, she drops a yellow legal pad on the table between us as she addresses Dumbass.

“She killed a man by poisoning his drink with pure meth,” she says to her partner. “You sure you want that back?”

“Allegedly,” I add.

The oaf stares at the can for a few seconds. Finally, he pushes it back in my direction with an embarrassed look.

In the past five hours or so since I was unceremoniously dumped in this interrogation room, I’ve gone through the whole gamut of emotions. Fear. Shock. Despair. Now, I’m at anger. Anger that bubbles within me. Anger that is thinly disguised as apathy to these two morons.

Dunn drops a blue Bic pen on the legal pad and pushes it over to me. I hold up my cuffed wrists helplessly.

“I can’t write with these things on,” I say.

Dunn gives me the filthiest look before nodding at Dumbass. He stands and circles around to me, removing my cuffs before returning to his spot.

I WANT A LAWYER. I write it as obnoxiously large as I can, underlining the word LAWYER three times.

Agent Bitch’s smile disappears, replaced by a thin line of contempt at her mouth. I grin. Good luck getting those cuffs back on me, motherfucker. I sit back in my seat and snatch up the Coke, draining the rest of the can before they think to take it from me.

“We can play this game for however long you want, Miss Portland,” she says curtly, fiddling with the stack of crime scene photographs in front of her. I smile.

“I’ve got all day,” I say sweetly, even though I really, really don’t. Dornan has Elliot’s daughter and ex-girlfriend, and possibly Elliot himself, and Jase and I have twenty-four hours to meet him and get the girls out of danger before he kills them. At least, that’s what I’m assuming he plans to do to them. I can’t even comprehend what else he might be planning to do to those poor girls to get back at us.

Agent Dunn shakes her head one last time, gathering up the files and stalking towards the door. “I’ll give you some time to think about your position,” she says.

“Isn’t this illegal?” I call out to her. “I’m an American citizen. I have the right to an attorney. Get me a goddamn lawyer!”

Really, I just need a lawyer to post bail so I can get the hell out of here. Not that I’m sure I’d actually be bailed out, but I need something, and talking to these two is proving fruitless. A cold panic is building up inside my stomach, in the hollow space where my baby once lived and died.

God, it’s still so raw, so vicious when the memory of our tiny little baby takes hold and squeezes me. Sometimes, selfishly, I wish I could forget about her, because losing her has cursed me with more pain than I could ever imagine.

If I had any remnants of doubt about killing Dornan before? They’re gone, bled from me in the moments after our daughter was born, still and dead, in the early hours of the morning when the world was still dark.

He took her from me. From us. And I cannot rest until he’s dead and buried, a rotting corpse in the cold ground, a memory and nothing more.

Dornan Ross needs to burn for the things he’s done.

Agent Dumbass follows his partner out of the room and pulls the door shut. I immediately stand up and go to the door, testing the handle. Locked from the outside. Of course. I go back to my chair, collecting the pen someone so thoughtfully left for me and shoving it into my pocket. You know, just in case I need to stab somebody sometime soon.

Which, as it turns out, is sooner than I’d anticipated.

About an hour later, Agent Bitch sticks her head back into the room. “Your lawyer’s on the way,” she says, closing the door behind her again.

This could be anyone. A cop posing as a lawyer to get a confession on tape. A hit man, sent by the Gypsy Brothers or the Cartel. I’m like a sitting duck in here, and I don’t like it one tiny bit.

But what greets me isn’t any of those things.

It’s so much worse.

I don’t move an inch as the door swings open and he walks into the room. Dressed in a suit I’ve seen before, clutching a black leather briefcase by his side. He looks positively fucking amused.

“Well,” I say bitterly, “They’ll let any motherfucker take the bar these days, won’t they?”